PORNOGRAPHY USE: What You Need to Know

The word "pornography" comes from the Greek words "porno" and "graphia" meaning "depictions of the activities of whores." In common parlance, it usually means "material that is sexually explicit and intended primarily for the purpose of sexual arousal."

Statistics shows that for every normal webpage, there are 4 pornographic pages. Dark powers are unleashing their worst on our planet. Pornography has taken a deep root in our moral psyche and is gradually tearing families and nations apart. Sexual immorality is a deep wound on the conscience of the practitioners and the scars remain for life. Most who have become victims have lost their relevance on earth.

My intention in preparing this article is to show you the untold negative effects of pornography. I believe that when the dangers are known, it becomes easier to steer clear from porn.

1. Addiction
The first change that happens is an addiction-effect. The porn-consumers get hooked. Once involved in pornographic materials, they keep coming back for more and still more. The material seems to provide a very powerful sexual stimulant or aphrodisiac effect, followed by sexual release, most often through masturbation. The pornography provides very exciting and powerful imagery which they frequently recall to mind and elaborate on in their fantasies.

Once addicted, they cannot throw off their dependence on the materials by themselves, despite the many negative consequences. 

I discovered from my studies on this subject that the “most intelligent” people (both males and females) are the most vulnerable to porn addiction. The reason is because they have a greater capacity to fantasize, which heightens the intensity of the experience and makes them more susceptible to being conditioned into an addiction.

2. Escalation

The second phase is an escalation-effect. With the passage of time, the addicted requires rougher, more explicit, more deviant, and "kinky" kinds of sexual material to get their "highs" and "sexual turn-ons." It is akin to what individuals afflicted with drug addiction feel. Over time there is nearly always an increasing need for more of the stimulant to get the same initial effect.

If their wives or girlfriends were involved with them, they eventually push their partners into doing increasingly bizarre and deviant sexual activities. In many cases, this results in a rupture in the relationship when the woman refuses to go further - often leading to much conflict, separation or divorce.

Let me quickly point out that from my findings, being married or being in a relationship with a willing sexual partner does not solve their problem. Their addiction and escalation are mainly due to the powerful sexual imagery in their minds, implanted there by the exposure to pornography. They often prefer this sexual imagery, accompanied by masturbation, to sexual intercourse itself. This nearly always diminishes their capacity to love and express affection to their partner in their intimate relations. The fantasy is all-powerful, much to the chagrin and disappointment of their partner. Their sex drive is diverted to a degree away from their spouse. And the spouse could easily sense this, and often feel very lonely and rejected.

3. Desensitization
The third phase that happens is desensitization. Materials (books, magazines or films/videos) which were originally perceived as shocking, taboo-breaking, illegal, repulsive or immoral, in time, come to be seen as acceptable and commonplace. The sexual activity depicted in the pornography (no matter how antisocial or deviant) becomes legitimized. There is increasingly a sense that "everybody does it" and this gives them permission to also do it, even though the activity is possibly illegal and contrary to their previous moral beliefs and personal standards.

4. Acting Out Sexually
The fourth phase that occurs is an increasing tendency to act out sexually the behaviors viewed in the pornography that the porn-consumers have been repeatedly exposed to, including compulsive promiscuity, exhibitionism, group sex, voyeurism, frequenting massage parlors, having sex with minor children, rape, and inflicting pain on themselves or a partner during sex. This behavior frequently grows into a sexual addiction which they find themselves locked into and unable to change or reverse--no matter what the negative consequences are in their lives.

A highlight of few examples given by Victor B. Cline might illustrate this.

• Marriage Threatened: A 36-year-old married male, university-educated, a professional and very successful financially, had an addiction to pornography, masturbation and frequenting massage parlors where he had paid sex. He had an excellent marriage, four children and was very active in his church, where he assumed important positions of responsibility. While he felt guilty about his engagement in illicit sex, which was contrary to his religious, ethic, and personal values and had the potential of seriously disturbing his marriage if found out, he compulsively continued to do that which, at a rational level, he did not want to do. His problem came to light when he infected his wife with a venereal disease. This created many serious and disturbing consequences in his life and marriage.
• Incest: A 30-year-old single male, religiously active and very committed to his faith, had a history of pornography-addiction. He was too shy and backward to ask adult females on dates. So he developed intimate relationships with his four-and seven-year-old nieces and their girlfriends which culminated in his repeatedly sexually molesting them. The modeling of explicit sexual activity in the "adult" pornography which he consumed helped fuel his sexual appetite and interest in these children. Because of his guilt over what he was doing, he eventually sought professional help. However, his state had a "disclosure law" which required that he be reported to state officials for his sexual abuse of these children. Because of his cooperative attitude and the fact that he sought treatment on his own, he was placed on probation, received long term psychotherapy and is now living a more normal life. 
• Most Frequent Consequences: The major consequence of being addicted to pornography is not the probability or possibility of committing a serious sex crime (though this can and does occur), but rather it’s the disturbance of the fragile bonds of intimate family and marital relationships. This is where the most grievous pain, damage and sorrow occur. There is repeatedly an interference with or even destruction of healthy love and sexual relationships with long term bonded partners. If one asks if porn is responsible or causes any sex crimes, the answer is unequivocally in the affirmative, but that is only the "tip of the iceberg."

TO BE CONTINUED….

THE CYCLE OF EVERY RELATIONSHIP

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love – because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. 

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully) THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "The labor of love," because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistakes about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program make you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable - you can "make" love.

Prepared by Solomon Agu (The Psychologist)

How Does Masturbation Physically Change the Human Body? (Part 1)

Masturbation Changed Full Body (Male Example)

This video located at Youtube requires the viewer to log into a Youtube account because Youtube feels this video needs censorship. 
 

According to Happeh Theory, masturbation will make a human being blind and crippled, as well as causing many other changes to the human body. This series of videos, is dedicated to presenting examples of human bodies that have been changed by masturbation, and describing each of the changes that masturbation has caused to the those human bodies.

The example picture for this video shows a man whose body has been strongly changed by masturbation,

next to a man whose body is mostly normal.

The picture provides the opportunity to compare the changes that masturbation has caused in the body of the man in green pants, to how the same area of the body should look in the mostly normal body of the man in red pants.

The changes to the body of the man in green pants indicate that he masturbates with his right hand. All of the changes that will be pointed out in the body of the man in green pants, are the common changes that usually occur in the body of any human being who masturbates with their right hand.

The main overall change that masturbation causes to a human body, is to shrink the entire same side of the body as the masturbating hand. The shrinkage of the right side of the body of the man in green pants,

the same side of the body as his masturbating right hand, is responsible for all of the individual changes that will be described next.

The shrinkage of the right side of the body of the man in green pants, has caused his entire upper body to lean over towards his right.

The next picture compares the leaning torso if the man in green pants

to the more normal looking straight up and down torso of the man in red pants.

The right shoulder of the man in green pants is shrunken lower than his left shoulder.

The combined look of both shoulders is a downwards slant to the man’s right,

which looks completely different from the normal level shoulders of the man in red pants.

Masturbation has changed the shape and length of the right side of the torso of the man in green pants.

The more normal looking left side of his torso is taller and has a straighter shape.

According to Happeh Theory, one of the major changes that masturbation makes to the human body, is to make one arm look longer than the other arm.

The right arm of the man in green pants looks longer than his left arm.

The reason why the right arm looks longer is because the downward slant of the shoulders to the right,

lowers the right hand below the level of the left hand.

The arms of the man in red pants are mostly level,

because his shoulders are mostly level.

Another one of the major changes that masturbation makes to the human body, is to make one of the legs crippled. Masturbation has reduced the diameter of the right leg of the man in green pants,

so it looks smaller than the diameter of his left leg.

The diameter of the legs of the man in red pants are much closer together.

Masturbation will also give the affected person the tendency to stand with one leg straight, while the other leg is bent and lifted upwards by some amount. The right leg of the man in green pants looks straightened out,

while the left leg looks like it is bent and lifted upwards.

Masturbation will change the normal orientation of the head. The head of the man in green pants is slanted even further to his right than his body is.

The head of the man in red pants is mostly straight up and down and centered on his body.

A less noticeable change that masturbation can cause to the human body, is to change the size and shape of the chest. The chest of the man in red pants is so sharply defined,

there is a very clear fork shaped gap on his chest. The same area on the chest of the man in green pants,

is less defined and looks stretched out on the lower right side.

Another one of the less noticeable changes masturbation can cause to the human body, is to change the size and shape of the head. The forehead of the man in red pants looks smooth and rounded and bulges slightly outwards.

The forehead of the man in green pants looks flatter with no clear shape.

An intriguing change that masturbation can cause to the human body, can be found in the stomach area. The man in red pants has what is commonly called a six pack.

He has six slabs of muscle that are relatively clearly defined in his stomach area.

The same area on the stomach of the man in green pants looks like there is a five pack.

The slab of muscle in the center of the stomach on the right side,

the same side as the masturbating right hand,

looks smaller with no defined shape to it,

compared to the other five slabs of muscle.

Masturbation will change the growth pattern of the hair on the head. The hair of the man in green pants looks wild and unruly,

while the hair of the man in red pants looks like it sticks out from the head in a smooth and normal way.

The masturbation caused shrinkage of the right side of the body, extends up into the head. The right side of the head of the man in green pants looks smaller,

than the left side of his head does.

Both sides of the head of the man in red pants,

look to be almost the same size.

The example picture for this video, can be used to demonstrate how masturbation changes the energy body of a human being, and how the interactions of the masturbation changed individual with other individuals will be affected.

MASTURBATION

Masturbation is the sexual pleasure obtained from sex-arousal of the genital organs to orgasm. It is the act of giving and attaining to oneself sexual satisfaction through means other than the opposite sex. In the Bible, it falls under the group of vices called sexual immorality. It is a vice. This means that it is the opposite of a virtue. It is not something that one can come out openly to boast about. It is a shameful act.

Why do People Masturbate?

1. They are sexually tensed up
2. They do not have access to the opposite sex:
   1. They are not bold enough to get one (a lot of introverts masturbate).
   2. They are not old enough to get an active sex partner.
   3. They are religiously bound to stay away from sex until they marry.
   4. Their partners are away for a long time. This is for married people!
   5. Peer Pressure. This is always the case in the boarding houses of our secondary schools. There you find seniors who instruct the juniors to masturbate them. Even the juniors also masturbate, thinking “If my seniors could do it, why can’t I?”
   6. Fear of AIDS. Their argument is that if they masturbate, they can’t catch AIDS since it’s only about them. They forget that there are terrible effects of masturbation that could even be worse than AIDS.
   7. They don’t want to unite themselves with another person.
   8. They expose themselves to different kinds of pornography. You would notice that I talked about different kinds of pornography. One very subtle type is the natural pornography. This is when an individual continually tries to access and view the private parts of living beings without their permission. They forget that what the are looking at cannot be enjoyed by them after they have seen it.

How do people feel after masturbation?

1. Physically satisfied
2. Emotionally wounded
3. Spiritually condemned
4. Self condemnation and rejection follows

Consequences of Masturbation
I’m aware that a lot people don’t see anything wrong with masturbation.  Even some medical personnel can advise you to do masturbation. I’ve read all manner of things on the internet of what people have to say about masturbation. But while reading all of those stuffs, there is need to also listen to the voices of the numerous lives that are being destroyed by masturbation on a daily basis. I want to take a look at the terrible consequences of masturbation that people don’t talk about.

1. Spiritual consequences;
2. Socially, it prepares those who indulge in it to live independent of the opposite sex (loss of sex drive towards the opposite sex) and thwart the realization of harmonious relationships between husband and wife.
3. Psychological consequences is that is condemns the person into believing he or she is abnormal and internally very weak. Such a person can hardly believe in his ability to resist un-desirous passions.
4. Physical consequences:
   1. Fatigue. Feeling tired all the time even without doing any work. They look worried and sometimes confused. This is because when you lose your semen through masturbation, you lose body nutrients.
   2. Some masturbation patients suffer from lower back pain.
   3. They suffer stress and anxiety. They make unnecessary mistakes on their job.
   4. People who masturbate eventually suffer from soft or weak erection otherwise referred to as youth impotence. (Masturbation is like using a material when it is still supposed to grow or be preserved).
   5. They suffer pre-mature ejaculation. Masturbation trains the body system to ejaculate. For many masturbation addicts, every time their sexual feeling is triggered off, they ejaculate.
   6. Some suffer from semen leakage. When they think about a lady, they notice the semen coming.
   7. Reduction in the penis size or shrinkage of the penis at the base.
   8. Many masturbation addicts suffer “mood-swings”. They may be laughing this moment and the next moment, they get depressed and angry, they slip back to their shell and masturbate.
   9. Lack of concentration. They feel the urge and signal to masturbate even when they are busy on a job.
   10. Some who have gone too far into masturbation may suffer insomnia (sleeplessness) and poor memory.

When you know the full consequences of a habit, it is not totally difficult to quit that habit. People keep masturbating because they are ignorant of the terrible effects. A lot of adolescents in secondary school innocently indulge in masturbation because they don’t know anything about the grave consequences. All they hear from their peers is that masturbation is fun.
Spiritually, masturbation invites demonic powers that have the capacity to take control of the will and manipulate it to their own goals and profit. I know of a marriage being wrecked by the demonic spirits contacted by the wife through masturbation. Too often we think that masturbation is a male 'disease.' This notion is very very false. It is a very common thing among the female folk. In this case, the woman who had been masturbating before marriage came into the marriage with this 'presence.' In my counseling with the couple, the husband disclosed how he constantly felt this third party each time they met. He said that on other occasions, he was confronted in dreams by a spirit warning him against interfering in 'his' relationship.
Today, the lady is possessed and fears any relationship with the husband. The cause of this fear is completely unknown to her and the husband. It was not until the husband opened up that I began to 'suspect' the root of this matter. I also discovered that in spite of the several times she had reached orgasm, the husband was not instrumental to them. She would have to 'massage' herself in order to reach her peaks. This is what happens when the practice of masturbation becomes a habit. The opposite sex cannot satisfy you and it can be very frustrating for the both parties especially for the innocent party. The person continually feels incompetent and sometimes 'selfish.'

In my next article in this series, I’d show you how to deal with masturbation. Don’t miss that. God bless you. (by Papa CNC Onyeledo)
………To be continued (watch out for “How to Quit Masturbation”)

NAKEDNESS WITHOUT SHAME

“...AND THEY WERE BOTH NAKED, THE MAN AND HIS WIFE, AND THEY WERE NOT ASHAMED” (Gen.2:25)

I’d like to begin this write-up by drawing your attention to the phrase: "The man and his wife". Notice that it does not say, "The guy and his girlfriend". This nakedness without shame WAS MEANT FOR THE MARRIED, but today, we see many ladies who visit their boyfriends and they bath n

aked, play naked, sleep naked,......This is an ERROR!!

When two unmarried people stay naked and are not ashamed, something is fundamentally wrong with them; their consciences may have been seared with hot iron. The devil has blindfolded them and reserved their shame for a later date when it would be more shameful and disgraceful. How would you feel if after sleeping, bathing and staying naked with a guy or girl, you both don't finally get married? How would you feel if he or she, probably, sees you on your wedding day dancing like a saint? What if the guy/girl that you shared your nakedness with happens to know your future wife/husband? Would you ever be bold before him/her? How would you feel if your husband/wife tries to brag about you before him/her? Let’s always think ahead.

This is very common among students living in HOSTELS outside the school (off camp), the girls bath and stay naked with their boyfriends without shame (all in the name of campus marriage). They live in the same room, sleep on the same bed, change clothes in each other’s presence and see nothing wrong with that. That’s the main reason why many students run out of the campus to live offcamp (though they give the poor and unhygienic state of the school hostels as an excuse). For all my friends who just gained admission and plan to walk in this path of shame, please think twice... If you are already shamelessly involved in this vice, please repent because the devil has packaged the shame for you at a time when it would blow you up.
Love you all…

COSTLY ASSUMPTIONS IN RELATIONSHIPS

Introduction:

Most young girls have been battered, shattered and have suffered broken heart because of the mistakes they made in a relationship.  Some no longer have the word Trust in their dictionary and this has affected them in getting married while some that later got married ended with either a broken home or a non-peaceful home. These traumatic experiences have their roots in the costly assumptions our young girls have when they are into a relationship.

What are they?

1. The way I feel is the way he feels: Some people use their own feeling to measure up another’s. Because you love him then you believe he loves you too; let me inform us at this juncture that every man has his or her own love language. Therefore do not assume that because he buys gift for you and your own love language is gift then he loves you.
2. Good relationship must end in marriage: A lot of sisters have left their churches; some even the Faith because a brother whom they assumed would marry them is getting married to another. The question I usually ask such sisters is “Did he propose to you?” that you are in good terms with a bro does not mean that you are engaged. This is a costly assumption.
3. The will of God must be appealing to me: When a brother proposes to a sister, the sister does not care to pray over the proposal because she feels he cannot be God’s will for her. May be because he is not a graduate, he is not financially okay, or maybe he is not physically attractive. Some keep quoting that “God will grant me my heart desire”. This has made a lot of people miss the perfect will of God for them in marriage and that is why you see couples living like Tom and Jerry. What a costly assumption.
4. Giving all he demands shows him how much I love him: Some of our young girls believe that "if I don’t give a man what he demands he may leave me". This has contributed a lot to the high immorality rate. Don’t forget that a lot of wolf are in sheep clothing and I always tell my girls “Don’t do it until you say I do”.
5. If I feel strong enough for him, then I can marry him: This is taking decision by feelings (eg Ammnom). Feeling is not the best barometer for test of love.

Why do people make these mistakes?         

These assumptions most times are based on insecurity and unbelief. When you don’t trust that God is able to keep what He has given you.

There is also the fear of singlehood, not getting married.

How do you conquer these mistakes?

1. Talk to yourself: This is the best sermon you can ever preach. Tell yourself that if you don’t marry, it should not cause you to lose your faith.
2. Train yourself: Personal development will guarantee you a high quality, and men will look for you. You shouldn’t look for them. Unfortunately, we train ourselves just like the world (Education). You can train yourself in basic manners like, how to sit, talk, etc how to be open without being vulnerable.
3. Tame yourself: Look at those things your family member’s always complain about you and deal with them.

Article written by Papa CNC Onyeledo.