MASTURBATION

Masturbation is the sexual pleasure obtained from sex-arousal of the genital organs to orgasm. It is the act of giving and attaining to oneself sexual satisfaction through means other than the opposite sex. In the Bible, it falls under the group of vices called sexual immorality. It is a vice. This means that it is the opposite of a virtue. It is not something that one can come out openly to boast about. It is a shameful act.

Why do People Masturbate?

1. They are sexually tensed up
2. They do not have access to the opposite sex:
   1. They are not bold enough to get one (a lot of introverts masturbate).
   2. They are not old enough to get an active sex partner.
   3. They are religiously bound to stay away from sex until they marry.
   4. Their partners are away for a long time. This is for married people!
   5. Peer Pressure. This is always the case in the boarding houses of our secondary schools. There you find seniors who instruct the juniors to masturbate them. Even the juniors also masturbate, thinking “If my seniors could do it, why can’t I?”
   6. Fear of AIDS. Their argument is that if they masturbate, they can’t catch AIDS since it’s only about them. They forget that there are terrible effects of masturbation that could even be worse than AIDS.
   7. They don’t want to unite themselves with another person.
   8. They expose themselves to different kinds of pornography. You would notice that I talked about different kinds of pornography. One very subtle type is the natural pornography. This is when an individual continually tries to access and view the private parts of living beings without their permission. They forget that what the are looking at cannot be enjoyed by them after they have seen it.

How do people feel after masturbation?

1. Physically satisfied
2. Emotionally wounded
3. Spiritually condemned
4. Self condemnation and rejection follows

Consequences of Masturbation
I’m aware that a lot people don’t see anything wrong with masturbation.  Even some medical personnel can advise you to do masturbation. I’ve read all manner of things on the internet of what people have to say about masturbation. But while reading all of those stuffs, there is need to also listen to the voices of the numerous lives that are being destroyed by masturbation on a daily basis. I want to take a look at the terrible consequences of masturbation that people don’t talk about.

1. Spiritual consequences;
2. Socially, it prepares those who indulge in it to live independent of the opposite sex (loss of sex drive towards the opposite sex) and thwart the realization of harmonious relationships between husband and wife.
3. Psychological consequences is that is condemns the person into believing he or she is abnormal and internally very weak. Such a person can hardly believe in his ability to resist un-desirous passions.
4. Physical consequences:
   1. Fatigue. Feeling tired all the time even without doing any work. They look worried and sometimes confused. This is because when you lose your semen through masturbation, you lose body nutrients.
   2. Some masturbation patients suffer from lower back pain.
   3. They suffer stress and anxiety. They make unnecessary mistakes on their job.
   4. People who masturbate eventually suffer from soft or weak erection otherwise referred to as youth impotence. (Masturbation is like using a material when it is still supposed to grow or be preserved).
   5. They suffer pre-mature ejaculation. Masturbation trains the body system to ejaculate. For many masturbation addicts, every time their sexual feeling is triggered off, they ejaculate.
   6. Some suffer from semen leakage. When they think about a lady, they notice the semen coming.
   7. Reduction in the penis size or shrinkage of the penis at the base.
   8. Many masturbation addicts suffer “mood-swings”. They may be laughing this moment and the next moment, they get depressed and angry, they slip back to their shell and masturbate.
   9. Lack of concentration. They feel the urge and signal to masturbate even when they are busy on a job.
   10. Some who have gone too far into masturbation may suffer insomnia (sleeplessness) and poor memory.

When you know the full consequences of a habit, it is not totally difficult to quit that habit. People keep masturbating because they are ignorant of the terrible effects. A lot of adolescents in secondary school innocently indulge in masturbation because they don’t know anything about the grave consequences. All they hear from their peers is that masturbation is fun.
Spiritually, masturbation invites demonic powers that have the capacity to take control of the will and manipulate it to their own goals and profit. I know of a marriage being wrecked by the demonic spirits contacted by the wife through masturbation. Too often we think that masturbation is a male 'disease.' This notion is very very false. It is a very common thing among the female folk. In this case, the woman who had been masturbating before marriage came into the marriage with this 'presence.' In my counseling with the couple, the husband disclosed how he constantly felt this third party each time they met. He said that on other occasions, he was confronted in dreams by a spirit warning him against interfering in 'his' relationship.
Today, the lady is possessed and fears any relationship with the husband. The cause of this fear is completely unknown to her and the husband. It was not until the husband opened up that I began to 'suspect' the root of this matter. I also discovered that in spite of the several times she had reached orgasm, the husband was not instrumental to them. She would have to 'massage' herself in order to reach her peaks. This is what happens when the practice of masturbation becomes a habit. The opposite sex cannot satisfy you and it can be very frustrating for the both parties especially for the innocent party. The person continually feels incompetent and sometimes 'selfish.'

In my next article in this series, I’d show you how to deal with masturbation. Don’t miss that. God bless you. (by Papa CNC Onyeledo)
………To be continued (watch out for “How to Quit Masturbation”)

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NAKEDNESS WITHOUT SHAME

“...AND THEY WERE BOTH NAKED, THE MAN AND HIS WIFE, AND THEY WERE NOT ASHAMED” (Gen.2:25)

I’d like to begin this write-up by drawing your attention to the phrase: "The man and his wife". Notice that it does not say, "The guy and his girlfriend". This nakedness without shame WAS MEANT FOR THE MARRIED, but today, we see many ladies who visit their boyfriends and they bath n

aked, play naked, sleep naked,......This is an ERROR!!

When two unmarried people stay naked and are not ashamed, something is fundamentally wrong with them; their consciences may have been seared with hot iron. The devil has blindfolded them and reserved their shame for a later date when it would be more shameful and disgraceful. How would you feel if after sleeping, bathing and staying naked with a guy or girl, you both don't finally get married? How would you feel if he or she, probably, sees you on your wedding day dancing like a saint? What if the guy/girl that you shared your nakedness with happens to know your future wife/husband? Would you ever be bold before him/her? How would you feel if your husband/wife tries to brag about you before him/her? Let’s always think ahead.

This is very common among students living in HOSTELS outside the school (off camp), the girls bath and stay naked with their boyfriends without shame (all in the name of campus marriage). They live in the same room, sleep on the same bed, change clothes in each other’s presence and see nothing wrong with that. That’s the main reason why many students run out of the campus to live offcamp (though they give the poor and unhygienic state of the school hostels as an excuse). For all my friends who just gained admission and plan to walk in this path of shame, please think twice... If you are already shamelessly involved in this vice, please repent because the devil has packaged the shame for you at a time when it would blow you up.
Love you all…

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COSTLY ASSUMPTIONS IN RELATIONSHIPS

Introduction:

Most young girls have been battered, shattered and have suffered broken heart because of the mistakes they made in a relationship.  Some no longer have the word Trust in their dictionary and this has affected them in getting married while some that later got married ended with either a broken home or a non-peaceful home. These traumatic experiences have their roots in the costly assumptions our young girls have when they are into a relationship.

What are they?

1. The way I feel is the way he feels: Some people use their own feeling to measure up another’s. Because you love him then you believe he loves you too; let me inform us at this juncture that every man has his or her own love language. Therefore do not assume that because he buys gift for you and your own love language is gift then he loves you.
2. Good relationship must end in marriage: A lot of sisters have left their churches; some even the Faith because a brother whom they assumed would marry them is getting married to another. The question I usually ask such sisters is “Did he propose to you?” that you are in good terms with a bro does not mean that you are engaged. This is a costly assumption.
3. The will of God must be appealing to me: When a brother proposes to a sister, the sister does not care to pray over the proposal because she feels he cannot be God’s will for her. May be because he is not a graduate, he is not financially okay, or maybe he is not physically attractive. Some keep quoting that “God will grant me my heart desire”. This has made a lot of people miss the perfect will of God for them in marriage and that is why you see couples living like Tom and Jerry. What a costly assumption.
4. Giving all he demands shows him how much I love him: Some of our young girls believe that "if I don’t give a man what he demands he may leave me". This has contributed a lot to the high immorality rate. Don’t forget that a lot of wolf are in sheep clothing and I always tell my girls “Don’t do it until you say I do”.
5. If I feel strong enough for him, then I can marry him: This is taking decision by feelings (eg Ammnom). Feeling is not the best barometer for test of love.

Why do people make these mistakes?         

These assumptions most times are based on insecurity and unbelief. When you don’t trust that God is able to keep what He has given you.

There is also the fear of singlehood, not getting married.

How do you conquer these mistakes?

1. Talk to yourself: This is the best sermon you can ever preach. Tell yourself that if you don’t marry, it should not cause you to lose your faith.
2. Train yourself: Personal development will guarantee you a high quality, and men will look for you. You shouldn’t look for them. Unfortunately, we train ourselves just like the world (Education). You can train yourself in basic manners like, how to sit, talk, etc how to be open without being vulnerable.
3. Tame yourself: Look at those things your family member’s always complain about you and deal with them.

Article written by Papa CNC Onyeledo.

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